Pain and loss

First off I'd like to say Happy Birthday to my biggest sister Jennifer! She was born 39 years ago today and was premature. It makes me feel good to know that we'll one day get to meet her.



I always wonder if it was coincidence or not that Jared died on her birthday. Everything happens for a reason right?  It's been a long 5 years. I dont think I'd ever imagine making it this far and being okay. It's hard to forget the pain I felt for a long time after he passed. It's hard to forget the hours I sat at his grave, crying because I didn't know how to feel. It still hurts when I think about him, but now it makes me smile. When I think about him, I think about the good memories we shared, not of his death. I celebrate his life, and the time we had with him.





I made a list of some of my memories that I dont want to forget:
He taught me how to drive a stick shift and didn't laugh (or cry) when I killed it.
He came to every basketball game and let me scream and cry on the way home when we lost in the semi finals my junior year.
He took me to see Dave Chappelle, he didnt even hesitate to stop and ask for directions when we got lost.
He helped me ditch class...
He would sit outside my house with his radio blasting and text me "I'm outside of your window with my radio"
He took me to see my favorite band twice and bought me two shirts. We laughed the whole time and took pictures of us together (which went undeveloped in the car he was driving when he crashed)

I wont forget:
The countless hours cruising up and down state street because we didnt know what we wanted to do.
LOTS of Costa Vida!
Driving all the way to Salt Lake to see Hawthorne Heights even though the show had been cancelled.
Watching him get his tongue pierced and laughing when he swallowed the ball and he thought he had to have surgery to remove it.
Coming home to him standing on the ladder on the side of my house helping Weston put the christmas lights up!
When he left me at his house while watching Fantastic Four in spanish with his mom. Then her trying to ask me if I wanted cake in the little english she spoke... and not coming back for TWO hours!!
The countless hours spent talking in the car doing absolutely nothing.
Finding my batman blanket on my car.
The hug and kiss his mom gave me at the funeral. It was an amazing feeling, not knowing each other well, not speaking the same language but understanding each other perfectly.

One of my favorite memories was at my sister's wedding. He had brought me a dozen roses and a single one for both my mom and sister. I was so embarrassed at the time with all the "ooooo's" I got when I brought them into the church. We sat outside in the hall when I didn't have to stand in the reception line and laughed.

I am so thankful for the time I had with him. I am very happy with everything he did for me, and the things he taught me. I miss him, but I know he's in a better place.

RIP Jared Rodriquez 09.25.86 - 03.18.06

WOW

I am really slow on blogging recently. We've had lots of sickness going around and its been hectic. I haven't been using my downtime to blog, that's for sure!! (I'm doing this from my phone as we speak while netflixing Desperate Housewives).

So a little tidbit from this passed week, just to embarrass my son when he gets older. I've gotten him to go around and tell everyone...

"I pooped in tub!!"

LOL!! That's the kind of night we had the other day... Not fun, and that's what husbands are for! To clean up the messy parts of life ;)

Cancer sucks!

4 years ago today our basketball team won state. We had an amazing group of girls, and our 7 seniors said goodbye to high school that year. We'll always remember the date because it just so happened to be Jane Anne's birthday! It's hard to see such a close knit group of girls go their separate ways after high school but we still keep in touch.

Recently, one of those girls was diagnosed with cancer. She currently plays on BYU's Women's basketball team and they are very supportive of her and her journey in fighting this disease. So today, in honor of Alexis, Jane Anne's Birthday, and our amazing win for the state championship, we all wore our rings! 

You can read about Alexis' battle HERE

We are praying for you Fus!

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Valentine's day!

Happy Valentines Day to my husband! He's currently in the kitchen cooking me breakfast and it smells delicious! 3 years and counting :)

 

He makes me so happy and I couldn't ask for a more amazing husband.

Wordless Wednesday...kinda

 Okay not really.

So I know this two year old...



Who likes to talk. He's a mocking bird and will say anything that you do. It's when he says something on his own is when its funny. Half of what he says doesn't make any sense, but when it does it's really funny.

Like the other day in the car. I had said something which came with a prompt response of "ugh... mom, c'mon!'
And when he grabs my fat roll and says "It's so fluffy!"
He always breaks my heart when he cant find me and starts crying, "Be right back?"
But I love it when he sings. He loves to sing. Which is probably an understatement.

I love this boy, and he says a lot of words now that he's growing up, and it couldn't make me any happier. It's so funny how someone so small can make everything in your world that much better.

Wedding Song

I love it when I put my iPod on shuffle and it just so happens my wedding song comes up. It puts a smile on my face.


 

I had my wedding song picked out for years. It's by a small little band out of Duluth, MN. I fell in love with their music from the moment I first heard them.This song is just so perfect and I love that it is ours. I bet a handful of people have maybe danced to this song at our wedding and that makes it that much more special.

So here are the lyrics.

I've been waiting and patiently praying, for this moment all my life
And I never, thought I'd ever, feel so glad to be alive...
I've spent so many years dreaming of this, I'm long overdue
And finally all my dreams are happening, in an ideal form of you...
Let's take this moment, squeeze it and hold it, for the rest of our lives,
then the time will never come to say goodbye...
I may not be perfect, but I'll always be there
Because I know you're worth it, you're the answer, to all of my prayers...

And here's a link to the video of the song because it's simply beautiful...
VIDEO

So what did you dance to at your wedding?